Personal Summer Days

It's not what you think. My personal summer moments just began recently. They quite snuck up on me. I thought it was a fever! I thought, "oh no! I'm getting sick!" "oh my! It sure is hot at my son's house! Why do they keep the heat that high?" Welcome to the middle world of menopause and the hot flash. You can be all wrapped up in your snuggly butterfleece overalls and oversized sweatshirt, or wearing that great 100% wool sweater from your favorite manufacturer and basking in it's warmth against the cold bitter January air (oh yes, that gust of wind that comes swirling in when you finally let the cat in) and suddenly all you want to do is run out into that January wind because it takes too much effort to strip down and you already know you aren't going to get relief that way. They leave as quickly as they come, and the butterfleece once again does its trick to warm you up. And anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours later it happens again...but it's a wonderful life anyway (excuse me, the cat wants in...)

"Rituals"

Ritual or routine? Wake up (mostly to a cat staring in your face, nudging you, trying to BITE you so you will get up and let him out). Shuffle downstairs hanging for dear life onto the railing because ONCE you fell. Let/put/throw cat out. Prepare coffee in the stovetop espresso pot and here is the ritual...the water goes in, the beans are ground and you turn the stove burner on to #9 and wait for the whistle, and then when it stops, its done and one of the finest cups of coffee you'll ever experience! Life revolves around that moment when you pour your espresso into the yellow San Francisco very very now chipped cup that your good friend Valerie gave you (it's the ONLY cup it really tastes best served in) and the very first sip. Ahhh!

It's making me late!

Ok. So today's the day I dedicated to cleaning my house and packing my suitcase. So far I have: gone outside and taken photos of the BEAUTIFUL autumn day, gone to breakfast with a friend, worked on my iPod speakers (no, they still don't work), called Mrs. Butterfield and left a message (just sayin' "hi"). The enchantment of the day just won't go away and it's making me late! I am just not getting anything productive done. Deep sigh! That's okay. Life is about the choices we make and Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty on this beautiful day sets my pace. The men are on the roof looking for the leak, pouring water ($$$$$) to try to find out, Tommy Cat and Tessie Cat are running in and out and in and out. I fell in love with my friend's filtering of a photograph I had taken, selling me out on a program now that I absolutely have to be able to afford. All I need is St. Elmo's Fire (instrumental) and Neil Young's Harvest Moon, and well, gee, maybe I can get around to looking at my empty suitcase. Maybe.

sidewalks

I just had to walk barefoot on the old slate and bluestone sidewalks today on the walk back home. It just felt so good under the feet.

Meeting up with Milo

What a joy to see my children--Dan, Joey and little Milo. My mother always says, "your children are precious, your grandchildren more." I say it's pretty even. All of my children are my favorite. It was wonderful to be with Milo, though, and to get to know this little person. One of the most touching moments of the day was when he very gently reached out to touch the puppy. And that smile....contagious!

The Week

If I can make it through this week, I can make it. I just need to survive the stress and the blows that come with that stress, then I will be fine. Grampa and Gramma are coming. No matter how old you really are, you are somebody's child and I don't care what anybody else says, we all need our parents. We need their umbrella of love. If we don't have that, there can be a lack of completeness to our lives.

My friend Ruth just called and sang Happy Birthday to me. I did have to tell her she was a whole month (exactly to the day) early, but it did my spirit good to hear her voice and know that she was thinking of me, with my best interests at heart. And an invitation to get away and come up as she will be there through the end of next month. How long does it take to get to Maine from here....?

Spring!

The sun is finally getting back it's "punch." The warmth of April afternoons sitting outside with my grandpuppy can be so rewarding, just watching the little flowers in the breeze, while puppy rubs himself through the still uncut grass.